When I read this I asked myself what roles has society given me? Have I accepted those roles? If a new reality is available to me why have I accepted this reality? How much of what I think is assigned to me did I actually nominate myself for?
Society has tried to dictate what jobs I should have, who I should date, and even where I should live. Don’t let media, expectations, and statistical information about someone in your situation make you think that you have to settle for anything.
I remember I interviewed for a job and the interview was a group interview. I had never interviewed that way before. Ten of us interviewed at the same time for the same position in the same room. I killed the interview. I did such a phenomenal job that everyone in the room left knowing that I was going to get the callback.
At that moment I realized that I am the exception to the rule in many cases. Statistically speaking I had a 1 in 10 chance of being the best, but I was the best. Don’t let the odds get you down.
My family has dictated that I should have certain responsibilities, but that is my fault. My fault for taking them on and not asking for help. My fault for being angry but choosing not to cause strife by expressing my frustrations and how mentally drained and alone I felt.
I have realized that I have nominated myself for many of the things that I complain about. When I don’t speak up for how I feel I am asking someone to treat me with greater courtesy than I am willing to give myself. I am asking for someone to stand up and take care of me when I haven’t stood up for myself.
My friend Darlena told me “Say no sometimes! Just because you can say no!” She was right. When stress runs me into the ground then what? Who is going to come and pick me up out of the dust?
Religion had at one point dictated that I could not be a teacher. I was not fit to teach people about loving The Most High because I was a woman. I went to a church where it was frowned upon for women to preach, teach, or pretty much have any authority. Obviously that wasn’t going to fly with me for very long.
If you have a God-given gift your faith should encourage that. Your narrative as a woman does not have to be what anyone tells you that it is. It has to be with where your gift is.
Education (and many salty people with degrees) have said that success is only for people with formal education. Reality says many of their bosses don’t have that same level of formal education (this is where the salt comes from.)
Education is a blessing. No one can take it from you. When you know the things that those before you have done to educate themselves you can take pride in knowing they have made a way for you.
…but there is more than one way to make a way
You can still be successful. You will still be successful. Tell yourself that and know that. Other people know that (also where the salt comes from)
The moral of the story is that we are all authors. We are all authors of the story of our lives. Our viewpoints, our optimism, our drive, our disciple… those are the drops of ink that are going to create our life story.